Unintentional
by throughskinandbone
Summary: An argument leads Emma and Regina in a direction they didn't intend to go.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Once Upon A Time or any of its characters.**

 **AU from S02E09**

It had been six weeks since Regina had absorbed the curse from the well.

Six weeks of house arrest.

Five weeks and four days since Emma Swan had moved in.

It had been Emma who once again had talked down the townspeople when that drunken dwarf had tried to get everyone whipped up into a 'let's kill Regina' frenzy. She told them how Regina had saved her life, how she'd saved Snow's life, and didn't that show them that she had changed? Regina had rolled her eyes as she'd heard Emma trying to talk them all down from their blood lust. She hadn't been trying to change; she had no interest in winning the hearts of these peasants. Regina had done it for Henry, as she did everything. Henry was Regina's happy ending. Unfortunately Emma Swan seemed to be the 'free gift with purchase' that came with him, albeit ten years late.

The annoying blonde had first destroyed her curse and now the annoying blonde was stomping around her mansion with her muddy boots proclaiming that she was keeping Regina safe. That was ridiculous of course, Regina had her powers back, she could vaporise the town if she wanted to. Still, it had been a long time since anyone had wanted to take care of Regina, and Emma did seem to want to. The barrage of death threats, graffiti and broken windows that had greeted Regina in the first three days of her house arrest had made Emma furious. Still, no one was more surprised than Regina when Emma moved herself in to be Regina's bodyguard. They had bickered endlessly for four days but when Emma allowed Henry to move back into the mansion Regina had softened. Piles of dirty laundry and dishes left in the bathroom (why was she eating in bathroom for God's sake!) were things Regina could tolerate if it meant seeing Henry every day.

The threat of Cora was the only other thing keeping Regina from a town lynching. Only she and Rumplestiltskin possessed the power to go up against Cora, and unfortunately for Team Idiot, Rumplestiltskin did not care. So for the last six weeks, as a condition of her house arrest, Regina had been their magical consultant. The whole situation was ridiculous, thought Regina as she rested her head on the pile of magical texts that she was going over again. It was exhausting waiting for her mother's arrival and Regina knew she would come. Regina was happy so Cora would come.

The thought brought Regina up short. Was she happy? Was she happy under house arrest, being protected by the person who was born to destroy her? Was she happy helping Snow White of all people? Was she? The idea horrified her.

'Regina?'

Emma's voice echoed through the corridor to Regina's study, disrupting her thoughts. Regina glanced at the clock, it was only 3pm, Emma was home early.

'Did you remember to get parsnip?' Regina called out tersely. She heard Emma's footsteps cease. 'The dish I'm making doesn't work without parsnip'.

Emma's footsteps started again and she popped her head inside the study with a sheepish look on her face. She was wearing that insufferable red jacket and a beanie. What adult wears a beanie?

'I forgot parsnip'.

'Well if I was allowed to go to the supermarket...' Regina began, irritated.

'I'll get it when I pick up Henry from school' Emma replied as she leaned into the door frame. 'How was your day?'

The relaxed gesture infuriated Regina, who was Emma to be asking about her day?

'Just how long do you intend to keep me locked up here as your pretend wife?' Regina snapped.

Emma's face flushed scarlet.

'My what?' she stuttered out as her mind raced.

 _Oh my God, she knows. Does she know? I've been so careful. She's angry. Of course she's angry, if she knows she must think that... what does she think? Well it can't be good, she's yelling. But she always yells, maybe it's just run of the mill yelling...But she said wife, why would she say wife if it's not about my feelings for her. Don't think about your feelings for her Emma! Not in front of her, you've never been sure that she can't read minds..._

'Miss Swan!'

Regina's voice jolted Emma out of her reverie.

'Have you been listening to a word I've said?' Regina had stood up at some point and was pacing back and forth.

'Wife?' Emma choked out.

'What?'

'Wife...was a word you said.'

'I also said many others such as 'can't' and 'keep me locked up forever'.'

'Regina I'm not trying to keep you locked up.'

'That's exactly what you're doing!'

 _Shit Emma, that's exactly what you're supposed to be doing._

'Am I ever going to trial? Or is my punishment to be cooking and cleaning for you forever?'

'Oh, that's why you said 'wife'. Like the 50's, metaphor, right.'

'Miss Swan, did you hit your head very hard today?'

'Regina, catch me up. Why do you suddenly want to go to trial? What the hell kind of trial would that even be?'

'So you haven't thought about a trial. Your plan actually is to keep me here forever?'

'I just need them not to kill you Regina!' Emma yelled. 'That's the extent of my plan. Keep you safe, face Cora, I haven't got further than that.'

Regina sat down. She hadn't gotten any further than that either, why was she trying to bait Emma into setting up a trial that would likely see her executed?

'I apologise Miss Swan... I have had a taxing day.'

'What if you were my wife?' said Emma, mostly to herself.

'What?'

 _What?_

'If I convinced Snow that you were my true love, I don't think she'd let anyone kill you.' Emma stammered out.

'She'd do it herself, for your own good.' Regina said dryly.

'She wouldn't, not if she thought it would destroy me and Henry'.

Regina laughed 'Miss Swan, are you asking me to marry you?'

'I think I might be.'


	2. Chapter 2

**This was intended as a one shot, I actually wrote it for an assignment, but I read over it tonight and thought it had some potential. Sorry to those who are waiting on an update for After Neverland, my computer that has all my notes for that story died, and I haven't yet retrieved the hard drive, but it's the fic is not abandoned! I'm just slow as all hell…. If it makes you feel any better, I've been working on a novel for 5 years now, so this is going faster than that. Doesn't help? Yeah, wouldn't make me feel better either. Anyway, enjoy.**

Emma couldn't sleep. Not your general restlessness, pillow too hot, kind of not being able to sleep, Emma wasn't sure that she would ever sleep again. She glanced over at the clock, 3.21 am. It had been 12 hours. 12 hours since she had asked Regina to marry her. 12 hours since Regina had said yes.

Yes.

Yes?

She played the conversation out in her mind for the millionth time since she had ended it with an awkward 'righto' and gone to have a panic attack in the bathroom.

' _What if you were my wife?' said Emma, mostly to herself._

' _What?'_

What?

' _If I convinced Snow that you were my true love, I don't think she'd let anyone kill you.' Emma stammered out._

' _She'd do it herself, for your own good.' Regina said dryly._

' _She wouldn't, not if she thought it would destroy me and Henry.'_

 _Regina laughed 'Miss Swan, are you asking me to marry you?'_

' _I think I might be.'_

 _They stared at each other, Regina puzzled and Emma terrified._

 _Regina eventually broke the silence 'You're…asking ME to marry YOU?'_

' _Tosaveyourlife,' Emma winced as the words tumbled out of her mouth inarticulately. 'ForHenry'._

 _She cleared her throat and tried again 'To save your life, for Henry.'_

 _Regina frowned, 'And you think that's the best way to save my life?_

' _I'm just spitballing,' replied Emma, desperately trying to seem casual._

 _A hint of a smile tugged at Regina's lips. Emma knew that smile. That smile meant trouble. Fuck._

' _So there'd be a wedding?' Regina enquired in her polite, calm politician's voice._

' _Yeah, I guess,' Emma replied, trying to stop nervously picking at her nails, a habit of hers that Regina despised._

' _To be convincing?'_

' _That… would be best I suppose.'_

' _You may kiss the bride?' Regina queried, enjoying Emma's nervousness._

' _Well, one kiss, I've kissed people before,' Emma mumbled._

' _Yes, I'd assumed.'_

' _And would we buy a nice house and have two more children?' Regina said, unable to keep the teasing tone from her voice._

' _You already have a house,' Emma mumbled, having no idea what else to say._

' _Yes dear, very astute of you._

 _Emma threw her hands up in the air. 'Look it was a stupid idea, I just thought it might be a solution to the whole 'Kill Regina' issue. Who's gonna kill the Saviour's wife, you know? Forget it.'_

 _Regina turned back to the books on her desk and Emma turned to go get parsnips, possibly for several hours, relieved to be off the hook._

' _Yes,' came Regina's calm voice._

 _Emma spun, catching her boot on the rug._

' _Yes what?'_

 _Regina smiled, her beautiful smile that made Emma melt even though she knew it wasn't a real smile, just one of Regina's many masks._

' _Yes Miss Swan, I'll marry you.'_

' _I…good. Righto.'_

 _Emma heard Regina laugh softly as she rushed out of the room._

Righto?

She'd seriously said 'righto'?

Emma slammed her head against her pillow repeatedly.

Righto.

Righto.

Righto.

And then, a tiny voice inside her head, the one who had started this whole mess. _You get to kiss Regina._

 _Yeah great_ , she snapped back at it, _a fake kiss at our fake wedding_.

The voice shrugged, if a voice could shrug. _Still…._

 _Shut up_.

Regina glanced over at the clock, 3.21 am. It had been 12 hours. 12 hours since Emma Swan had asked her to marry her. 12 hours since she had said yes.

What had she done?

She could get out of it, she knew that, Emma would be undoubtedly relieved. It was the high of the eternal game of one upmanship that she played with Emma Swan that had prompted the 'yes' in the first place.

' _Miss Swan, are you asking me to marry you?'_

' _I think I might be.'_

She'd been trying to embarrass her! So she'd pushed, and Emma hadn't backed down, and Regina… Well, Regina. Did. Not. Lose.

So she'd said yes, and Emma's face, oh it had felt so worth if until the reality had sunk in.

She slammed her head against the pillow repeatedly.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

God, was she expected to become Regina Swan? Well that was just unacceptable.

Try as she might though, she couldn't think of an alternative that she could turn to her advantage like she knew she could this one.

Emma was right, the town's people were so far up the Saviour's ass that Regina would become untouchable, she would have her freedom back. She could buy her own damn parsnips again.

So she'd be living with Emma, she was doing that anyway. And Henry, well she'd have to broach that with Emma, she wouldn't lie to him again, but they could make him understand, and she'd get to stay with him. It gave her time, time to win him back, time to think her way out of this post-curse nightmare.

So there might be some hand holding and some faux displays of affection, a wedding day kiss. Kissing Emma couldn't be any worse than kissing Leopold had been, and even if Emma was hiding some surprise Sapphic inclinations, she was far too noble to try and blackmail Regina into any 'wifely duties'.

And Snow's face. That would have to be her other stipulation, she would remain Regina Mills and she would be there when Emma, when _they_ , told Snow. Her curse may have been broken but she was going to win after all. She would finally destroy Snow's happiness. Maybe she'd go all out on that kiss.

Yes, she could do this. She could marry Emma Swan.

It was 3.21am and Henry couldn't sleep. Tonight he had sat through the weirdest dinner of his life. Living at the mansion again had been awkward at first. He was still mad at his Mom, still didn't know what to think about the fact that he had been right. Right about living in a town full of amnesic fairy tale characters, right about his evil Mom. But his evil Mom was still his Mom, it was confusing. And now they were living with Emma, his new Mom, no that didn't feel right, his other Mom, and at first the fights had been spectacular. When Emma had spilt cereal of the Persian rug, his Mom's hands had shimmered with heat as she held back the fireballs she was desperate to unleash, every candle in the house had lit and the toaster had exploded. Mom didn't speak to Emma for two days.

Sooner than he'd expected though, things settled between the three off them. It was almost like the family he'd imagined when he'd sat up late at night reading his book over and over again. Sure he'd imagined a Dad, but he liked having his two Moms, having family dinners and listening to them bicker like his friend's parents bickered. It was nice. Tonight though, it was even stranger than the dinner they'd had the first night he'd moved but in. That had been awkward, no one knew what to say, and everyone tried too hard, but tonight was different. They talked about the same kind of stuff they normally did but Emma avoided eye contact with his Mom, and the one time their eyes had met, Mom had winked at her and Emma had choked on her water. Emma had seemed nervous and Mom had a weird smile on her face like she was thinking about a joke that he was 'too young to understand'. Mom made Emma's favourite dessert but Emma seemed terrified by the gesture instead of happy. Emma had washed the dishes without being asked. It was weird.

Something was going on, he was sure of it, and he was going to find out what.


	3. Chapter 3

Emma slept for approximately 45 minutes and decided that she hated all birds. Smug little fuckers singing too damn early when newly-engaged idiots were in the middle of a crisis. She couldn't believe that she had done this to herself. It was bad enough living with Regina; seeing her sleepy in the morning, watching her with Henry, and oh God that time she'd walked in on her doing yoga. And now she was going to be her wife. Her painfully platonic wife.

Emma had never had feelings for a woman before. She'd kissed a few at parties, and it was nice enough. There was one time when things might have gone further but someone had flung the door open looking for a bathroom, and the moment passed. So it wasn't like she was opposed to being with a woman, there had just never been one that made her feel the way that Regina made her feel. Actually no one had ever made her feel the way Regina made her feel. Happy and miserable and on fire whenever they accidently brushed past each other. How did this happen?

She'd thought Regina was gorgeous from the moment they met but that didn't ring an alarm bells. Regina _is_ gorgeous. Also conniving, manipulative and, she'd been told, occasionally murderous, but certainly gorgeous. It was no great surprise that she'd brought an entire nation to its knees. Emma blushed at the image she'd inadvertently conjured up. So yes, she had eyes so she knew Regina was gorgeous, but then there had been that moment where everything had…tipped.

 _Henry was dying and Emma was so angry and so scared when she'd slammed Regina into that cabinet._

 _It's true isn't it? Is it?_

 _Yes…_

 _Regina looked so despairing, so broken, so… human. And then._

 _It was supposed to put you to sleep!_

 _It hurt, it hurt almost as much as the sight of Henry lying still in the next room. Regina wanted it to be Emma lying there, she wanted more than to never see Emma again, Regina wanted Emma to die. And for a brief moment Emma felt like she had. Then there was no time to dwell on why, on what it meant, she had to save a town and have an awkward reunion with her mid-twenties parents. It was later when things were finally quiet, when she was in a tiny loft listening to Henry snore, that she asked herself why. Why she felt like she couldn't breathe whenever she replayed those eight words in her mind._

 _It was supposed to put you to sleep!_

 _She thought about the rage and the fear that she'd felt as she'd had Regina pressed up against that cabinet, and then she finally let herself think about what else she'd felt with Regina's body flush against her own. About how badly she'd wanted Regina to say that it wasn't true, that she wasn't an Evil Queen, that she was just a bitch. Because if that had been the truth, then Emma could have, would have, kissed her._

 _That was why Emma couldn't breathe anymore, because she wanted Regina and Regina wanted her dead. Tears pricked her eyes and heat curled in Emma's stomach as she thought about how Regina's lips might feel against hers. Then the heat began to churn and Emma threw up._

Lost in her thoughts, she didn't hear the door open but was thankful that Henry's voice broke through her thoughts.

'Ma!'

'Yeah kid, what's up?'

Henry sat on the edge of Emma's bed. 'Something's going on isn't it? You and Mom are acting weird. You're all scared and she's all…something,' he said, screwing up his face in confusion.

Emma's exhaustion got the better of her and although 'Everything is fine' was what she had been going for, the words that actually came out of her mouth were 'Oh right, yeah. Your Mom and I are getting married.'

Regina was drifting in and out of consciousness when her eyes snapped open at the sound of Henry's voice.

'WHAT?'

Regina barrelled down the hall, swinging open the door to the guest bedroom.

'What have you done?' she demanded of a dishevelled and unhappy looking Emma.

Emma looked sheepish. 'I um, told the kid the happy news.'

Regina frowned, not following her.

'The wedding thing,' Emma prompted. 'Look I'm sorry, I barely slept and he asked and'

'He asked if we were getting married?'

'Well ok no but'

'Miss Swan you will be the death of me.'

Emma smirked. 'Well you're what? Sixty? You've had a good run.'

Regina's face clouded over but before she could speak a red-faced Henry interrupted.

'Shouldn't you start calling her Emma? If you're going to,' his voice croaked, 'marry her?'

Regina sighed and sat on the bed next to Henry, who noticed with interest that Emma immediately scrambled as far away from her as possible. He sighed.

'This isn't going to be a regular marriage, is it?'

'No kid, it's not.'

After they explained it to him he sat in silence for a few long minutes.

'That's kind of a dumb plan, but I guess you have me to help you.'

'What do we need help with?' asked Emma, offended. It wasn't that bad a plan.

'Well, are you guys gonna stay married forever?'

Oh.

'I suppose,' said Regina gently. 'When Emma finds her real True Love, then we'll get a divorce.'

'Then won't the town hate you again?'

'Hopefully by then the town will have gotten used to us being together and they'll be mad at Emma for breaking my heart,' said Regina with a playful smile.

'Hey!' Emma exclaimed.

'But what about your True Love?' asked Henry. 'If you broke Emma's heart the town would definitely be mad at you.'

'Henry, I… You know that I don't consider that an option for me.'

'Breaking Emma's heart?'

'True Love,' Regina said softly.

For a moment the silence was painful and then Henry piped up again.

'When was your first kiss?'

'Henry!' said Emma and Regina in unison, Emma's face slightly pink.

'C'mon, people are gonna ask! Ruby is definitely going to ask.'

Emma groaned, Ruby was definitely going to ask, and about more than a kiss.

'Ok. The hospital, after you ate the turnover,' Emma supplied.

Regina and Henry both frowned.

'Ma that's not convincing, why would you guys kiss then? That was the day you found out she was the Evil Queen. It has to be way earlier to be believable.'

'The day you got trapped in the mine,' Regina suggested, ignoring the curious expression that developed on Emma's face.

Henry nodded. 'Yeah ok, that works better. Was Emma mad when she found out who you really were?'

'Yes,' said Regina softly, briefly meeting Emma's eyes. 'But she decided to forgive me.' She turned quickly back to Henry 'Because that's what people do when they find their soul mate.'

'I guess people might believe that. This is a pretty sappy town.'

'I made this town!' Regina objected.

'Yeah,' said Henry. 'And you made it sappy.'

Emma could've sworn she heard the word 'ungrateful' being muttered from Regina's perfect lips.

'People are going to ask why you're getting married so fast.'

'It's True Love, and true love doesn't have to wait,' replied Regina.

'That's not what the pamphlets at my school say.'

Emma tried unsuccessfully to hold in a laugh.

'Those pamphlets are talking about something else,' said Regina. Henry opened his mouth again.

'Something that is not appropriate for someone your age,' Regina finished quickly before he could ask.

'Why did you guys fight so much if you were secretly in love.'

'Sometimes people don't want to be in love,' said Emma. 'So they fight it.'

'Well then why did you stop fighting it?' Henry pushed.

'Because sometimes you're just not strong enough.'

The unhappiness in Emma's voice puzzled Regina. Maybe Emma was remembering Neal. Regina knew that she would definitely be unhappy if she found herself in love with someone like him.

Henry nodded. 'Ok, well that's a pretty good start, but we'll probably have to work more on the back story.'

'New Operation then?' asked Emma.

Henry's face lit up. 'Yeah, Operation Wedding. No… Operation Moms? I'll think of something.'


End file.
